Mama Bear Update | 5

"With God, we shall do valiantly."
psalm 60:12


Good afternoon friends and family!  With a very hopeful, happy and full but nonetheless sad heart, I have some "official" news about mama.

Her doctor reviewed the PET scan results with her today and hear was the report:

- She has stage 4 cancer in her lungs, liver and bones of her spine.
- The chemotherapy treatment they have already begun for the cancer in her lungs is going to also treat the cancer in her liver and spine.  So treatment will carry on!
- She is taking a two new medicines: one to help her bones stay strong and not break! And another to help her nausea.
- She had also lost eight pounds since her chemo treatment and was quite dehydrated so the doctor put her on an IV this afternoon to help her be refreshed, strong and healthy.

Thank you for praying for us.  Mom is so strong and valiant.  She helps us be strong too, which is quite a "holy" experience.  We love her so much and crave your prayers!  God is good.

Mama Bear Update | 4

Hello hello!  Spring is in the air... and sunshine just always seems happy!  


Here is the latest on mama:


- She did have her PET scan, and we were told we'd hear results on Monday (two days ago) we haven't heard anything yet.  Apparently this is par for the course in the medical world and probably frustrates "us" all more than it does mom.  She's very patient (though eager to hear the results too... pray they'll get PET scan results to us quickly!)


(as a little refresher: the PET scan was going to give us results on her liver and spine "spots" and let us know what those spots are.)


- She starts chemotherapy today.  Her prayer requests are that she has good IV (Lord, give her a nurse with skill!) and that it doesn't hurt too bad.  She knows eventually chemo will get harder and harder, but she says she'd "like to to start not too hard!"


- Later this week she is going to have a biopsy on some bumps on her arm.  No one is really sure what they are or where they came from... or even how they are going to do the biopsy.  She would prefer to just be put under so it won't hurt, but they haven't decided if they are going to do that yet.  Pray for little pain during the procedure!


- Her chest has (for the last few months) had a sharp "traveling" pain that had gone away but now seems to have returned.  A thoracic doctor said that it was either a disease (which I'm currently blanking on the name of right now) or cancer that has spread.  Mom laughed telling me how blunt he was saying it.  We appreciate the honesty ;) but there ain't nothin' wrong with a good bedside manner! Pray that it, well, goes away and is healed! But we would obviously prefer it to not be more cancer.  Please pray for that.


- I'm back in Maryland until Monday (3/12), and then I'll go back to Florida for two weeks!  Mom and I are going to hit up the wedding dress stores.  It will be so much fun :) Pray we find a dress and that we laugh a lot!



“Heaven is my throne,
and the earth is my footstool;


All these things my hand has made,
and so all these things came to be.


Rejoice with Jerusalem, and be glad for her,
all you who love her; rejoice with her in joy,
...may  you drink deeply with delight 
from her glorious abundance.Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river,

and  you shall nurse, you shall be carried upon her hip,
and bounced upon her knees.


As one whom his mother comforts,
so I will comfort you;
you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.


You shall see, and your heart shall rejoice;
your bones shall flourish like the grass."

Mama Bear Update | 3

It's been quite a whirlwind around here!  So much to update on! SO! On Friday morning mom had an x-ray to check how her lung had held up with NO chest tube for 24 hours.  If it was still up and had not collapsed, she would be released to go hooOoome!  We were expecting the x-ray tech between 7:00 and 8:00 am.  She didn't actually leave for her x-ray until after 10:00.  The waiting was painful ;)  When she came back from x-ray we were hoping to hear results fairly quick.  I started packing the room up... We called dad to make sure he could come get her... We didn't order lunch at the hospital... And 11:00 passed... 12:00 passed... 1:00 passed... 2:00 passed... With no results.  Mom wondered if they were afraid to tell her bad news.  

Around 2:30 three doctors came in.  The results weren't quite as positive as we were hoping: her lung had started filling back up again and was not looking "as good" as it had been the day before.  One doctor wanted her to wait 24 more hours in the hospital.  Another thought she could go home, but was shocked that it hadn't stayed up.  The most skeptical of the three finally said "If you PROMISE to take it easy, and you PROMISE to get an X-ray done on Monday, I'll let you go home.  You're so nice and I just feel so bad keeping you here. But know that it's against my better judgement!"  We take that statement to the bank and by 3:30 we were outta there!

We are all very much enjoying have her HERE.  It's just not the same when mama is gone.  Her chest has felt very very tight and she's worn out.  Today (Monday) she kept her promise and went back to get an X-ray.  Since she's feeling not-so-swell she had a feeling her lung may have collapsed again.  But we were thrilled to find out that the top part of her lung had greatly improved!  No collapsing at all :D  The bottom lobe does have more fluid... but that is where the tumor is and to be expected.  We are very excited!

She has an appointment on Wednesday with her oncologist who will be scheduling her PET scan (pray they can do it Thursday or Friday!)  The PET scan will give us the information we need about her spine and liver spots.  Once they have those results we can begin her treatment plan.  We are expecting to start chemo next week.

Thanks for being patient with a very happy, very tired and very engaged blog-updater ;)

Mama Bear Update | 2

Great news today! Her X-ray this morning showed a full, raised lung!  The doctor took her chest tube OUT.  She is not hooked up to any cords, machines, monitors, draining containers or wires! She's free!

Our quiet, thoughtful, always-up-to-something Dude bought mom these mice with house own money at Disney this weekend.  They've been in bed with mom ever since!

If tomorrow morning at 10am her lung has stayed up all on it's little lonesome she will be going home - for a long, long time we pray ;) Thank you for your support and prayers!

Mama Bear Update | 1

Hello friends and family!  I am resurrecting this old blog to give the latest news on Mama Bear's health.

In case you have just heard the news or are interested in "what happened" here is a little debrief:  Mom has had lymphedema in her left arm since July which makes her arm double to triple its normal size due to swelling.  Thanks to compression sleeves and physical therapy she it is being well treated, and the symptoms are just more annoying then anything ;) Apparently lymphedema is a possible side effect of radiation, even years down the road.  (Her breast cancer had spread to her lymph nodes back in 2004 and was treated with chemo and radiation.) In December 2011 Mom started feeling extremely fatigued and short of breath.  Assuming it was just the extra holiday busy-ness and stress, she tried to get some rest post-holidays.  When she didn't feel any better she went to the doctor who diagnosed her with the flu.  Go home, get some rest.  After a few more weeks her breathing was only worse.  Her next trip to her physical therapist (for her lymphedema) ended up being a trip to the cardiologist (people had speculated that mom was experiencing congestive heart failure, or maybe had pneumonia.)

On February 7, 2012 the cardiologist x-rayed and did an echocardiogram and found a fully collapsed lung and two spots near her heart, but she was fairly certain the spots were on her lung NOT her heart, because her heart was working perfect and it would make sense that mom was complaining of shortness of breath if her lungs had growths on them.  The cardiologist asked mom to come back the following day (February 8th) for a cat scan.  The cat scan results were passed onto the best pulmonary doctor around ;)

- On February 9th a radiologist did a thorancentesis (her first chest tube) to drain fluid out of Mama Bear's lung... all were a bit shocked to drain 1500 cc's of fluid out of her lung.  But! Mom felt great and had her first restful night of sleep in month's!

- On Monday February 13th mom got a call from her pulmonary doctor that she needed to come into the hospital immediately.  She was x-rayed again and her lung was still completely collapsed.  She left the hospital and on her way home had multiple calls from her doctor who, when he finally spoke with her (you know how moms are with hearing their cell phones ;) haha just kidding?) he essentially said "Go home, get a change of clothes, and come right back to the hospital.  You'll need to be here overnight." When she arrived at the hospital with my dad she was admitted and they gave her a second chest tube (one that stayed in longer) with the hopes that this one would drain her lungs and give them a chance to puff right back up!

- The next day, Valentines Day!, they did an x-ray to see how she was progressing.  The lung was still fully collapsed.  They made plans for a surgery to insert a fatter chest tube (her third one) and do a procedure called pleurodesis (if you would like to google it you can, but it sounds too awful for me to type here!)

- Surgery Day! And also biopsy day! And big hopes for the new chest tube to work!

- Thursday the 16 and Friday the 17th were mostly restful days, not much pain and good results on her x-rays: it seemed like the chest tube was working!  They let us know that her lung needed to stay up SANS chest tube for 24 hours before she could go home.  What was once an over-night visit had turned into at least a week long visit! We also found out on Friday that the growths on her lung were definitely cancer (which we kind of expected but it still sucks to hear.)  This was also the day I flew in!

- On February 18th mom woke up in the middle of the night (somewhere around 2 am) and felt different.  She was pretty sure her lung had collapsed again.  They did an x-ray right away and gave her the sad news: it had collapsed :-/ The doctors spent the day trying to help her cough, take big breaths, sit up and force the lung back up... but to no avail.

- Sunday the 19th they performed a bronchoscopy to see if there was any mucous blockage or reason for the collapse.  They also scraped the tubes to make sure everything was clear. X-rays that day still revealed a collapsed lung.

- Monday, February 20 to Tuesday, February 21 were the worst 24 hours yet. She had a to have a fourth chest tube put in (bed side :( they wouldn't put her under for such a "small procedure." This woman is a woman who has had seven natural child births and loved it, is a nurse, has had many surgeries and basically tough as nails: if she, in tears, asks to be put under because the process hurts her so bad, I believe her.  But they wouldn't.) She also discovered she was allergic to iodine so her back broke out in red hives and itched her the rest of the day! Come Tuesday morning a good but gruff doctor came in to remove her third chest tube.  This was the first procedure I was in the room for.  Poor mama just cried and cried.  It broke my heart and I didn't know what to do.  I hated watching how hard they were pulling and grabbing at the tape, her back and the tube.  Even the most gentle sponge baths I've given her, or simplest activity like putting on a bathrobe can cause her to flinch in pain, so I can't imagine how awful that must have felt: wide awake and not numb.) She's been in lots of pain since then: I'm sure she is bruised and her muscles are sore and she thinks this fourth tube is right on a nerve, because it's by far the worst feeling yet!

- But! Today! Wednesday the 22 is showing lots of wonderful results for all that pain!  Her lungs have stayed up!  First they removed the air suction from the chest tube for 12 hours - and it stayed.  Then they removed water suction from the chest tube for 12 - hours - and it stayed.  Right now we are in the midst 12 hours of the tube being clamped (no suction at all... so for all intents and purposes it isn't there.)  The doctor just checked her ten minutes ago and said she sounded great! If the x-ray tomorrow shows that her lung is still up (pray pray pray!) they will remove the tube all-together.  If her lung stays up for 24 hour she will be able to go home Friday, the 24th! (almost two weeks after arriving! Poor mama!)

EVERYone loves her new monster socks.  They really are the cutest things.

- Concluding remarks:  The oncologist and the pulmonary doctor informed us that the cancer on her lung is NOT lung cancer, but breast cancer that as metastasized (definitely one of my vocabulary words from Physical Science with Mrs. Ellis in ninth grade!) to her lung.  That is actually good news!  They would like to start her on chemotherapy as soon as possible, and will not be able to do radiation again.  They also seem to frown on the idea of surgery.

Her room has been called the "Oh Suzanne! Spa", like a "dewey, supple garden", the "happiest room on the floor" and "a rain forest." I've managed to trick all the hotel staff into thinking I'm neat and orderly ;)

PRAYER REQUESTS

- That that sweet ol' lung would stay up nice and high!

- That the cancer would be minimal (she actually also has spots on her liver and spine, too.  We haven't even started the process of diagnosing or treating those spots.  We're told to expect that they are cancer, but pray pray pray!  Her treatment for her lungs might be different if the spine and liver spots are different than they are expecting.)

- Pray that she would be in as little pain as possible

- Pray for rest and sleep! She hasn't been sleeping well at all.

- Pray she can get home very soon.  She misses her little people and they miss her. Pray for their hearts! This is going to be a big year for them.

- Pray for Father Snyder ;) as he is working very, very hard to run the house, get the kids to school, do his job to make money, visit and communicate with his wife and rest himself.

And now for the end of post verse, that really is the happiest and best thing we could end today with!

Psalm 21:

"For You meet him with rich blessings;

You set a crown of fine gold upon his head."

(From enjoying good food together in a beige hospital room (I like to run out and bring food in from other places haha), to laughing at re-runs of Mad About You, to listening to Clair de Lune play out of my laptop while fireless candles flicker... from new friends who stop by and really do care, to funny nurses and forgetful techs and sweet ol' food service ladies, to new colorful pajamas and socks, getting lots of phone calls and texts saying "We're praying!" and "We care!", braiding and curling hair (while we still can!), to reading Psalms together and secretly decorating her room while she is out for procedures... from the privilege of being cared for in a clean, professional hospital, to making Arnold Palmer's nearly every lunch, and giving long back-scratches and doing pedicures... we feel rich with blessing.)

"He asked life of You; You gave it to him,

length of days forever and ever."

(We are so grateful that He does indeed extend life here on earth, but that when these days come to an end, we continue on to days of life forever and ever!  It's not so much that we live and then we die, but rather, we die and then we live!)

"For You make him most blessed forever;

You make him glad with the joy of Your presence."

(Especially for me who fainted the last time I was in a hospital, I've been shocked at how joyful the last week has been.  We are glad! His presence is here and we are so well. How sweet it is to be loved be Him.)

"Be exalted, O LORD, in your strength!

We will sing and praise your power."

(Amen, amen.)

post 24

Today I was going to blog my thoughts on "the situation" happening in my church.

I went to look for a quote from this post to use in my post.

But then I wanted to quote everything.

Maybe I'll blog my thoughts tomorrow.

Because this is what is on my heart today.

"As much as possible live at peace and enjoy the life of grace. 

Focus more on what is good than what is wrong. 

Live with warmth, unity, and respect among fellow-believers, 

even with our many different perspectives and convictions.

Do all this and then, when the grace of God 
or the freedom of God's people are diminished

 - join Paul, who without a blink or a pause saw 
Peter's legalistic attitude and leadership 

and announced, 'I withstood him to his face.'

If you would go to battle, go to battle for the radically free grace of God, 

for the relentless promise of joy, 

and for (in the words of Steve Brown) the scandalous freedom

 that our Savior fully purchased and purposed for His people.

...make a habit of calling folks primarily to faith and hope and joy 

and an insatiable appetite for the treasure that God is and gives. 

Generally, I believe that we are called far more often to 

think and laugh and feast and sing and 
announce the extravagant gift of saving grace

 -  than we are called to arms.

But here I plead for us to battle with tenacity and relentlessness:

Fight for a big, bold, unaltered Gospel 
and for the freedom and joy of God's people. 

Resist legalism in all its forms. 

Oppose authoritarian, controlling, or manipulative leadership. 

Let no one rob you or others of a free conscience, 

nor let them compel your service or collect your cash by guilt-trips or misuse of Scripture.

Truly, we have spiritual enemies that war against our souls; 

[my note: and these enemies aren't leaders, pastors, 

bloggers, document-writers,

 the church, the lost, 

sinners, or people. 

Our enemy is

 "the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places"

and

"the passions of our flesh"

and to these foes we can cry "By grace {we} have been saved!"]

but in that conflict we fight a defeated foe, 

who has already been crushed by Christ, 

and our Lord has also equipped us with Gospel-armor 

so that we need not fear or dread the enemy's fiery darts.
--

"He gives more grace."

james 4:6

--
"fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
our God ever yearns His resources to share;
lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
the Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

1. His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
   His power no boundary known unto men;
   for out of His infinite riches in Jesus
   He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again."
   --
   "..straining forward to what lies ahead, 
   I press on toward the goal for the prize 
   of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
   philippians 3:14

post 23

a hymn

Spirit of God, descend upon my heart
wean it from earth.
stoop to my weakness, mighty as Thou art,
and make me love Thee as i ought to love.

God and King!

all, all Thine own, 

soul, heart and strength and mind!

i see Thy cross; there teach my heart to cling;
o let me seek Thee, and o let me find.

teach me to feel that Thou art always nigh;
teach me the struggles of the soul to bear
to check the rising doubt, the rebel sigh;
teach me the patience of unanswered prayer.

teach me to love Thee as i ought to love,
one holy passion filling all my frame:
the baptism of the heav'n descended Dove
My heart an altar and Thy love the flame.

george croley | spirit of God, descend upon my heart