tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87829379598366115272024-03-12T20:20:09.583-07:00So I Bought HerI'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-89122977953407978172014-01-22T09:51:00.001-08:002014-01-22T09:51:45.051-08:00My Dear, Beautiful Mama Bear | Post 18<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">"... the doors of welcome are wide open;</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">right now He is ready to welcome you.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Today He is ready to save you."</span></i></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">2 corinthians 6:2</span></b></div>
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"I'm standing on the seashore. A ship at my side spread her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She's an object of beauty and strength and I stand and watch her until the sea and the sky come down to mingle with each other. And then I hear someone at my side saying, 'There, she's gone.' Gone where? Gone my my sight, that is all. See, just at the moment when someone at my side says, 'There, she's gone' there are other eyes watching her coming… and there are other voices taking up a glad shout, 'Look! Here she comes!'" <i>henry van dyke</i><br />
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This morning we were holding her hand, singing, like we have been for most of the past couple of days. The chorus began:<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"And I will rise when He calls my name </i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>No more sorrow, no more pain </i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>I will rise on eagles' wings </i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Before my God fall on my knees </i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>And riiiiise, I will rise"</i></span></div>
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Somewhere between those few lines He called her name. She rose up and took her first breaths of heaven's air, in a beautiful new body. I'm not sure how formal heaven's entry gates are, but I'm vividly imagining a welcome like the one in Luke 15. A jumping, leaping, running Father meeting His child on the road. Tears of joy! Bear hugs! Triumph! Together, at home, forever and ever and even more. We miss her. We'll always miss her here. But thank goodness even the missing will come to an end. </div>
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The memorial will be this Saturday in Gaithersburg. More details to come once arrangements are finalized. Thank you, beloved people. You have carried us through. We are desperate for more of those life-giving prayers. </div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">"The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen!"</span></i></div>
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I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-20448450899980318862014-01-20T19:56:00.001-08:002014-01-20T19:58:57.162-08:00Mama Bear | Update 17<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>"You saw me before I was born </i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>and scheduled each day of my life </i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>before I began to breathe."</i></span></div>
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<i style="font-size: x-small;">psalm 139:16</i></div>
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Sadly, these words I'm figuring out how to write down this very second have 'arrived' -- too too soon in my opinion. Last night Mama Bear seemed to change in her demeanor, comfort and breathing ability. This afternoon another "level" was taken. She is peacefully sleeping right now, and we've had excellent hospice care so we know how to make sure she stays as cozy and comfy as she is this very moment. God is not a God of hospice guesses, but if hospice <i>were </i>to make a guess they've said "not days or weeks, but hours or days."</div>
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At this point we're asking that no visitors come by. If you're dropping off a meal, please come in through the garage, leave the meal, and promptly head out. If you feel strongly about wanting to visit, you can text me or my dad and we'll let you know if it's a good time. If we don't answer, it's not a good time ;) Feel free to e-mail or text anything you'd like us to read to her. We're singing, talking, and reading to her much of the day and night. We'd love to read her love from friends. </div>
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Our home is a sacred, weighty, alive place right now. It's holy ground, filled with the tears of grown men and little children. We're in the parking lot of heaven, preparing to drop off our dear mother. We're able to see some of it's light from here. We wish we could see it all. We wish she wasn't going without us. We wish that maybe this is a dream and we'll wake up to her making coffee in the kitchen. However, the rays from Home are warm sun to our hearts. We're not ready to lose her, but we're ready for her to dance on the clouds, run to <i>her </i>mother who she has deeply missed for over a decade now, and join her voice in the triumphant choir to the Father King. Thank you for every single word or thought of care for us. Every single "Dear Jesus." Every single offer to help. Every single communication. Every drop of love. We're swimming in a deep, beautiful sea. And our mama is sailing to the shore.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>“... in </i>this<i> universe we are treated as strangers, </i></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">the longing to be acknowledged, </span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">to be met with some response,</span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> to bridge some chasm that yawns between us and reality...</span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">and surely, from this point of view, the promise of glory, </span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">becomes highly relevant to our deep desire.</span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">For glory means good report with God, </span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">acceptance by God, </span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">response, acknowledgment, </span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">and welcome into the heart of things. </span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The door on which we have been knocking all our lives will open at last.” </span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><b>cs lewis | the weight of glory</b></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">(Updates can be found at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mamabearsnyder">Mama Bear</a> on facebook.)</span></span></div>
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I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-69638388037364286922014-01-15T05:43:00.003-08:002014-01-15T05:44:12.613-08:00Latest on Mama Bear | Update 16<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>"... what if your healing comes through tears?"</i></div>
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<i>laura story</i></div>
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I write today with heavy news. The weight of glory appears to be upon my beautiful mother's back. We received the results of her PET scan last week, and sadly the state of her body is not well. To put it as my mom did: "...the good news is! I don't have to do chemo any more!". No more chemo. No more treatments. No more doctor's offices. No more scans. Home hospice arrangements are being made. Heaven is closer than ever. We are preparing to say goodbye in the way-too-near future. (Of course, as my mom also said, "I'm still not opposed to miraculous healing!"). <br />
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Please pray for us. A few things that immediately come to mind:</div>
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- Pray that mom will be comfortable and pain-free as she finishes her days</div>
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- Pray for memories, time together, laughter, sacred hours as a family</div>
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- Pray for the hearts and minds of her little ones, especially. (Lauren is still in elementary school, and Shannon and Dude are in middle school.) They are being so brave. </div>
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- Pray for dad. Lots of decisions. Lots of long nights. Lots of load ahead.</div>
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- Pray that somehow, though he is only seven months old, Rowdy will have supernatural and vivid memory of his grandma.</div>
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- This may seem silly, and I know each deep, labored breath is already numbered, but as we begin to face and imagine life without mom physically in it, we are broken knowing she won't be present for dozens and hundreds, if not thousands of 'big deals' for us. The varsity boy's championship game is a big deal for our family. Dad, Tim, Caleb and I coach and Kevin is the senior starting point guard. Assuming they make it through the play-offs, would you mind praying that mom will be there for the Championship? Pray that Kevin could run to her at the end of the game, one last time? The game is <a href="x-apple-data-detectors://0" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0" x-apple-data-detectors="true">on Saturday, March 1</a> -- 45 days away.</div>
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- Pray for strong, real, nearly-touchable peace.</div>
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<i>“The God who looked on you with joy when you were small and racing across His gift of green grass on His gift of feet beneath His gift of sky watched by His gift of a mother with </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><i>His gift of love in His gift of her eyes, is the same God who will look on you as that race finally ends, delighted in every way.</i></span><br />
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<i>Life is a story. Why do we die? Because we live. Why do we live? Because our Maker opened His mouth and began to tell a story.”</i></div>
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I wasn't there for the beginning of her story. It turns out I wasn't even a part of *most* of her story. But I will be there when our Maker says "It is finished, Suzanne." And while it may feel like the last chapters of her book are being written, we know better. We know Chapter 2 is titled "Earth," and Chapter 3 is "Welcome Home." (Chapter 1 is "The Artist's Imagination" -- the part where He casts the roles, predestines the characters, ordains their plot line.) We know this story has no 'The End.'. We're crying and moaning over here in Chapter Two. But someday, in Chapter 433,782, we'll only talk about the Times of Tears, for they will be no more. Forever, and ever, and ever, and on.</div>
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Thank you for the continued love, the constant support, the precious prayers. It's a bit of heaven-on-earth to be the recipient of rallying care. Thank you. (And in mama bear's honor, go snuggle any one you love even if you have lots to get done today.)</div>
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Ps. Those interested in specific ways to help can contact Tracy: <a href="tel:301.418.2518" x-apple-data-detectors-result="1" x-apple-data-detectors="true">301.418.2518</a> | <a href="mailto:tbranchaw@gmail.com" x-apple-data-detectors-result="2" x-apple-data-detectors="true">tbranchaw@gmail.com</a></div>
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I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-20751779337829788682013-10-10T07:54:00.001-07:002014-01-15T05:44:31.199-08:00Mama Bear | Update 15<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>"The Lord did not have a tough week last week."</i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Matt Chandler</b></span></i></div>
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Since my last post in May we've had some news in our household! Mama Bear is officially a Grandma Bear! After a long labor, our little guy was born on June 14 and he has been the joy of summer. Every single member of the family is smitten with him and he can makes us laugh no matter how sad, teary, tired or blank we are. He's the best little bundle of boy and we are delighted by him.</div>
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I do wish that Rowdy's birth was the only "medical/hospital" news to report. Unfortunately we have an update about mom and it's not particularly pleasant. She has been doing chemo for about nine months -- actually she has done four or five different chemos over the last nine months. None have them have been working and her cancer seems to be growing (the biggest area of concern is the growth in her liver.) Her lungs have also continued to fill with fluid and she's continuing to have them drained so she can take mostly-full, deep breaths and not be winded and coughing constantly. The latest chemo was probably the hardest on her physically (and her hair fell out again :( no fun) and we were <i>really </i>optimistic that it would be having the most effect. </div>
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Since it too wasn't working (big bummer) her doctor ordered to end that treatment and start a new kind, which was supposed to start this week. However, she was feeling light-headed and not quite right so she asked her doctor about it. They ordered a brain scan and she received the results yesterday: there are three spots of cancer in her brain. They are halting all chemo to do immediate brain radiation. She'll do ten treatments over two weeks' time and hopefully the brain spots will be GONE and they can continue working different chemos to find something that will really zap that cancer and teach it a lesson.</div>
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<i> "Every fear has no place at the sound of Your great name. The enemy, he has to leave, at the sound of Your great name." </i>Please pray for her and for us. Full disclosure? I hate this. I've told a few people that for the first time I can remember I don't "look forward" to the future. I'm happily married to my very best friend, with the sweetest son and I see my family every day. Finances are stable, I enjoy work, I physically feel great and I just like life so much right now. I don't want anything to change. I don't want mom to get more sick. I don't want it to get harder. I don't want think about it. It's hard to call God "My Healer" when I know that healing is a promise, but it may not happen until heaven. <i>"Quit pretending like you're not scared. Be honest. Walk in the light."</i> <i>(Matt Chandler) </i>I think I speak accurately for us all: we are scared. It'd be fair to say that this hit us hard. In some ways it feels like watching a tornado funnel head your way. It's been stormy, but what is coming? How bad is it going to be? Maybe it will all just stop and the sun will shine and we'll marvel at the miracle? We know and believe good things, but we are also feeling sad things. One of the best lessons Rowdy has taught me is the lesson of crying and yelling when you're upset. It doesn't cross his mind <i>"What will mom think if I respond the wrong way to my practical need or fleshly desire? What if I don't approach her with patience? What if I ask too angrily? Or ask too much of her?" </i>He calls, and I come. There are no rules to calling for mama -- if he feels like he needs me, he cries for me. It's so simple. And I'm so happy to be the one to answer his struggle. To feed and hold and refresh and clean and talk to him.<br />
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So I'd say we're calling and maybe even crying and yelling (sometimes literally and sometimes mentally and inwardly) and we're asking for miracles and mercies and strength. Though He slay us, we praise Him - and news like yesterday's stings with its lash but news like yesterday's has purpose and didn't catch God off guard.<br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> "All the weak; find their strength; at the sound of Your great name </span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of Your great name </span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Sick are healed; and the dead are raised; at the sound of Your great name</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: x-small;">."</span></i></div>
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ps. People have asked if there is any way they can help -- meals, helping with laundry + carpools/rides are the most practical needs. Don't feel like you have to do anything! But as people have asked, we wanted to let you know :) Tracy Branchaw has been the go-to for meals + you can get in touch with me if you'd like any other information (kristen leigh photography at gmail)</div>
I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-86347915880022167992013-05-03T13:02:00.000-07:002013-05-03T13:03:13.602-07:00Mama Bear | Update 14<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>"Let us lift up endless praises,</i></div>
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<i>Let us sing Him endless song."</i></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fOpQcRHuH1o/UYQRqLCTC3I/AAAAAAAAI10/_esB7DefyV8/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-05-03+at+3.40.14+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="215" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fOpQcRHuH1o/UYQRqLCTC3I/AAAAAAAAI10/_esB7DefyV8/s400/Screen+shot+2013-05-03+at+3.40.14+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
It's been about 15 months since we discovered and <a href="http://imkristenlearning.blogspot.com/2012/02/mama-bear-update-1.html">announced that Mama Bear's breast cancer had returned</a>. The past year-and-then-some I've slacked a bit on updating this blog. <br />
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But here the scoop:<br />
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We found out at the end of the summer that her cancer appeared to be gone (at least her cancer number had gone from 54 to somewhere between 0 and 5. Truly a miracle! And better than the doctors were expecting!)<br />
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Her chemo was done and they set to work on the condition of her lungs. The surgery and recovery for that, in early fall, was rough but it appears to have been profitable. Her x-ray this past was still very positive (the left lower lobe is still in bad shape, there is scarring, etc... but all in all everyone is pleased.)<br />
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Sadly, we found out a few months ago that her cancer that we had hoped was gone or at least dormant was growing/living again. It had popped back up in her liver and bones. Certainly disappointing news... especially so quickly :-/<br />
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Her wonderful wonderful doctor put her on a plan to have chemo just about every week for 12 treatments. The chemo "recipe" was going to be a little different than her past ones. It wouldn't cause her hair to fall out, and shouldn't make her feel sick. Currently she's about 75% through that plan. On Monday she had a PET scan to check the status and to see if the chemo was helping.<br />
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She got called in this morning, and she and my dad went to meet with the doctor and to hear the results (which we all assumed wasn't going to be 'happy news'...). Dr. Raj let them know that the chemo <i>wasn't</i> working like they had hoped and the cancer seems to be growing still.<br />
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SO. She has a new plan, and will be visiting another more "specialized" doctor, and trying a new medicine (including oral chemo.) They'll be stopping the 12-week-chemo-plan altogether since it's not working.<br />
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Thank you for praying for her and us, and thank you for asking about how she's doing! We're currently keeping busy with lots of house projects and making room for Baby Boris Morris (just his nickname, don't worry ;). Grandma Bear is as tough as ever, and never makes a "big deal" about any of this. But she is tired and "feels weak." Pray for strength and energy and lots and lots of joy. <br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;"></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>And the <span class="small-caps" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 17px; font-variant: small-caps; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Lord</span> will guide you continually</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><a alt="esv_08" class="va" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8782937959836611527" rel="v23058011" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(128, 128, 128); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-size: 17px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></a>and satisfy your desire in scorched places</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><a alt="esv_15" class="va" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8782937959836611527" rel="v23058011" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(128, 128, 128); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-size: 17px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></a>and make your bones strong;</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><a alt="esv_20" class="va" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8782937959836611527" rel="v23058011" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(128, 128, 128); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-size: 17px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></a>and you shall be like a watered garden,</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><a alt="esv_28" class="va" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8782937959836611527" rel="v23058011" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(128, 128, 128); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-size: 17px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></a>like a spring of water,</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-color: initial; border-style: initial; font-size: 17px; font: inherit;"><a alt="esv_33" class="va" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8782937959836611527" rel="v23058011" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(128, 128, 128); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-size: 17px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></a></span>whose waters do not fail.</i></span></div>
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I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-46143665191540553992012-06-21T07:15:00.001-07:002012-06-21T07:15:38.867-07:00Mama Bear Update 13<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hello hello! Time is moving and life is pressing on and mama is done with her 6th (and hopefullyhopefullyhopefully final!) chemo treatment! <br />
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- She has a PET scan on Monday and we'll have results on Thursday. This scan is huge. It's the big "What did the last five or so months of treatment do? Is there any cancer left? What's the deal?" scan. We're praying for nothin-notta-squat!<br />
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- They're coming back to Maryland next weekend! Dad, Mama, Katie, Kevs, Dude, Shannon and Lou-Lee will be moving back into the house they left. The truck and boys are arriving on June 30.<br />
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<i>* If you are interested in helping un-load the truck, feel free to come! My dad is trying to organize the troops, so you can email him at: a snyder at caci dot com.*</i><br />
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- My mom, myself and the rest of the girls will arrive within two days (we're bringing all the cars with us. It's going to be an adventure.) <br />
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<i>*If you are interested in helping my mom unpack the boxes starting July 2, you can e-mail Tracy at: t branchaw at gmail dot com*</i><br />
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- Mama is very worn out. Moving is not usually one of these rejuvenating, restful activities. Pray for her rest, energy and strength! <br />
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- THEY ARE COMING HOME! :D :D :D :D</div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-25805000739932618182012-06-04T04:25:00.004-07:002012-06-04T04:25:58.688-07:00Mama Bear Update 12<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hello everyone! <br />
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It's been a little while - which is often good news in the medical world! Here is the latest with sweet mama mom.<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-naZOTfrGaLA/T8ybAW5b7iI/AAAAAAAAH3Q/VbPKuAbokRA/s1600/527725_361157303945534_140647921_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-naZOTfrGaLA/T8ybAW5b7iI/AAAAAAAAH3Q/VbPKuAbokRA/s320/527725_361157303945534_140647921_n.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="152" /></a><br />
- A few weeks ago she attended "Relay for Life" with her sister Pam and a handful of kiddos (Kevin, Dude, Shannon, Lauren and family-friend Grace.) She was the "survivor" and they were the "care-givers." She said it was a lovely evening complete with nice dinner and a couple of laps around the Steinbrenner Field.<br />
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- Last Wednesday mom has her fifth chemotherapy (one more to go!) Her wonderful and lively friend Sandy flew all the way from Arizona to go to chemo with here this week. On good days they pack and work on wedding crafts! (Seriously, she's the best.) I think the three women of the house (mom, Sandy and Pam) are going on a Segway Tour of Saint Petersburg Beach today. That will be an absolute riot ;) I wish I could be there!<br />
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- Five more days of school for the little kidlets! And Katie graduates highschool on Friday. We are all so proud of her! And I'm very excited to be able to go down and watch my first sister at her graduation and to see mom again. But three cheers for mom and the kids getting through this school year in the middle of so much craziness! They're just incredible.<br />
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- Mom's (hopefully!) last chemo is in about three weeks. She is also moving back to Maryland that week. Yes, that's right folks, the Snyder's are coming back north! Hold onto your hats! ;) They will be here the last weekend in June, and will be moving back into the house they left. Please pray that this move goes as joyfully and peacefully as possible. Moving is always particularly tiring and hard. But moving ten people? 18 hours away? In the middle of summer? While on chemo? We're all going to do our very best to get everything taken care of for mom (thank the Lord for Aunt Pam! She's been a packing/helping hero! And for dad! He's ever impressive and hard-working.) <br />
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- After the big move the next event is the wedding! Just about two months away. It's unreal how fast time flies. Please pray for health for mom during all "this." Pray that when she gets her pet scan in July they find NO cancer! Pray she re-gains strength and energy! Pray that she will sleep well and restfully when she sleeps! We love mama so much!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mama and her prayer warriors in Florida! (These lady are from her bible study and have been the sweetest gift to mom.)</td></tr>
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<br /></div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-64108149477692777182012-05-10T08:34:00.003-07:002012-05-10T08:49:04.057-07:00Mama Bear | Update 11<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">"The <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> grant that you may find <b>rest.</b>"</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>Ruth 1:9</i></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><b>Update</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">- Mama had her fourth round of chemotherapy. Two more to go! (And she is still dazzling!)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">- Her incredible friend, Tracy Branchaw, came to spend a few days with her. Tracy brought gifts and notes from many of you: THANK YOU! Mama loved every single thing. And she also loved eating and talking and enjoying the company of her friend.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">- The whole Snyder clan is moving back to Maryland on July 1! Just six weeks away. My heart is glad. So so glad. I haven't been to Florida in over two weeks. And I miss mama and the crew so badly.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><b>Prayer Requests</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">- Continue to pray that the treatment is working. It might seem like a "no-duh" thing to pray. But from the little we know, it truly seems like God is using this to heal her. We've had nothing but positive reports so far. We believe God mysteriously works through prayer, and we KNOW you've been praying. Please keep praying. </span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lMzx63KsklM/T6vjX2io1rI/AAAAAAAAH3E/h-jQcpPpil0/s1600/529960_419713594707375_100000062148218_1537339_1732976611_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lMzx63KsklM/T6vjX2io1rI/AAAAAAAAH3E/h-jQcpPpil0/s320/529960_419713594707375_100000062148218_1537339_1732976611_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
- Pray for their hearts of the people in our family: Alan, Sue, Kristen, Caleb (almost!), Tim, Katie, Kevin, Dude, Shannon and Lauren. There has been some neat things God is doing in drawing us closer and knitting us together. Pray for that to continue! Even "little" but extremely meaningful things like sweet Katie shaving all the boys heads' for mom has become treasure to us.<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Sc8dfcKbCRg/T6vh649A8RI/AAAAAAAAH28/d5nwV-0viJU/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-05-10+at+11.42.59+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="85" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Sc8dfcKbCRg/T6vh649A8RI/AAAAAAAAH28/d5nwV-0viJU/s320/Screen+shot+2012-05-10+at+11.42.59+AM.png" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><b>- </b>Mama has had low blood counts since the beginning of this ordeal, but they continue to drop. She will begin taking a medicine for anemia. Pray that it works and boosts her counts! Low counts mean low energy.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">- Pray for her energy! She has so much coming up in the next weeks. Two more chemo treatments, a big move, and a wedding. She's a fighter, but she will need some extra doses of might to make it through all this!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>"Better is a <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">handful of quietness</span> than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind." <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">"Return, O my soul, to <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;">your rest</span>." "</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">For the righteous man <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">enters into peace</span>; they rest on their beds." "</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;">"Mary, who sat</span> at the Lord's feet <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;">and listened</span> to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving."</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I've recently been learning so much. God has brought me a people and times, and He is teaching me. I'm praying daily for my mother's health and strength. For energy. For rest. She's teaching me about resting in God. </span></span></div>
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</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">While we were in the hospital together in February, I read to her <a href="http://www.enjoyinggrace.org/links/blogs/bbgf---4.1.11-2.html">this blog post</a>. It encouraged our hearts and began to change me forever. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">"Rest at essence is <b>God-entranced</b>, God-magnifying, and God-satisfied. Rest is a bold declaration of the over-sufficiency of the goodness and grace of God. It is treating God's promises as rock-solid and unquestionable. Rest is a conscious relishing of God's gushing generosity and a relinquishment of our own self-sufficiency. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">In short, rest is the <i>only </i>human response to God's engagement that honors and satisfies Him. All else is both deplorable and unacceptable.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><b>Rest is the garden</b>, the Sabbath, the feasts, the land, the worship of God's people in the Old Testament. Rest is the promise of the Gospel and the only path to life. 'Come unto me all you who labor and are heavy-laden,' says the Savior, 'And I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for <b>my yoke is easy</b> and my burden is light."</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">Paul in the apostle sums up the Gospel simply, 'Rest your hope fully upon the grace that is brought to you in revelation of Jesus Christ.' </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">There were two lost sons in the story of the Prodigals, one who offered to work his way back into his Father's favor, and one who reminded the Father of the favor he deserved for the work he had already done. Both offered work as a payment for the gift of the Father's fellowship, forgiveness and feast. And <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">to both He said, 'No.</span>'</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><b>'Come in!' was the only offer </b>of the Father. '<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;">Cease from your work and celebrate</span> my lavish extravagance and prodigal generosity and you will have <i>Me </i>and everything that is mine.'</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">Everything good starts with rest, grows through rest, and is sweetly tasted in the feast of rest. And <i>then </i>comes Heaven." <a href="http://www.enjoyinggrace.org/"><i>Don Shorey</i></a></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">During busy, physically weary, emotionally heavy days may we find our hands full of quietness. May we sit, and not be distracted by things like serving - which hardly makes sense. May we celebrate and feast and receive God. May God continue to use Mama's trust and therefore Mama's strength to do mighty things. May we treat God's promises as rock-solid. May we (especially Mama) actually rest when she lays down in bed - may her sleep be sweet and refreshing, may her mind be calmed and still.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Thank you, thank you, thank you for being people who rally around ones you love. You are making our burden so light. </span></span></div>
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</div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-46172628783316221172012-04-20T05:55:00.002-07:002012-04-20T05:55:50.738-07:00Mama Bear Update | 10<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> “The kings came, and they fought...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">From heaven the stars fought...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><b>March on, my soul</b>, with might!" </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>judges 5</i></span></div>
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On Easter I flew down to Florida for 10 days. I had just hit moms' "good week," so we had lots of fun running errands, eating out, shopping for wedding crafts, <i>making </i>wedding crafts, finalizing the invitation ideas, styling mom's fancy new wig, and staying in our PJ's with Aunt Pam (who moved to Florida to help mom and the family! Incredible.). It was so encouraging to me to see her so "herself." It's been quite a while since she's looked and felt "that" way to me. Mom amazes me. While I was there she took an afternoon to take a young girl (she hardly knows) who is walking through a divorce out for lunch and to get job applications. I think it made that girls' month. God has proven Himself strong yet again! I love that we have a King who comes and fights with us - even the stars from Heaven fight! - which builds up my (and my mama's) soul to "March on!" He has given might and strength, as well as fun and play. We are grateful</div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">PRAYER REQUESTS</span></i></div>
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- Mom is half-way through her chemo treatments. On Wednesday she had her third one! (She still has to go back <i>next</i> Wednesday to administer the chemo for her bones. So she's <i>almost </i>half-way done!) <b>Pray that the chemo is working</b>!</div>
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- Despite being on the Super Hero Trio of anti-nasuea medicine, she still feels nauseous (which makes her not want to eat... and she needs the food for weight and nutrition!). <b>Pray that the nasty nausea goes away.</b></div>
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- The medical staff is trying to figure out <i>why </i>she's still feeling that way. A possibility could be something to do with her brain and an imbalance of hormones. A nurse started zeroing in on the issue, asking my mom about her memory and her balance. That discussion led to a decision to scan her brain on Monday to see if there is cancer there, as well. (I don't understand why they didn't check that at the beginning of this buuuut God over all forever reigns.) We should get results from that on Wednesday. <b>Please pray that there is no cancer in her brain.</b></div>
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- Mom being sick always affects our family (duh.) God has been clearly joining us together through little things - like flower girl dress shopping, games of foursquare and a Red Lobster birthday dinner for Kevs. In many ways our family is getting along better than we have in years. But there are still young hearts, unsaved children and very big issues on the table. <b>Please pray for much laughter, fun, care, unity and joy </b>amongst us nine Snyders.</div>
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Last little thought to adhere the tape on this post: Mom and I had some wonderful conversations about God's goodness while I was there. <i>Does God plan the "bad things" and say they are good? Or does He use the "bad things" and make them good? Is a "bad thing" like sin different than a "bad thing" like a tornado or tsunami? Can sin and consequences of sin BE good things? Or are they REDEEMED to become good things?</i></div>
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The conversation, in my head, was prompted when we found out that mom's lungs were hurting (so much so that she had to sleep sitting up in a chair.) She went to the doctor and they told her she had bronchitis. I would typically put bronchitis on the "bad things" list. Incredibly, however, the sickness seems to have actually <i>helped</i> her lungs. Every time she coughed (with great pain) her lungs were forced up higher. She was essentially forced to cough by bronchitis, all the while she was filling that lung up further and further. </div>
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God works in obscure ways! But I'll tell you what: God is good.</div>
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I've spent more time laughing, talking and just being with my mom now that she's sick than I would have otherwise. That is <i>so </i>good. Mom has time to, and is therefore reading, more books (and is especially in love with <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Heavens-Intimate-Moments-Majestic/dp/B007K4F3VA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334925480&sr=8-1">Kevin Hartnett's <i>The Heavens</i></a> book.) That is <i>so</i> good. Like I mentioned earlier, my mom's sister Pam moved to Florida to help out. After years of not living near family, we've been so blessed to have Pam (and grandma!) in our lives and home. It's <i>so </i>good! Katie has taken the kids multiple times to Disney - just for fun and a distraction. <i>So </i>good. We've eaten a chocolate cake brought by a church friend that we wouldn't have otherwise eaten. <i>SO GOOD. </i> We've hugged more, sat by the pool and ocean more, met the kindest nurses, been fascinated with the human body, and watched <a href="http://cainesarcade.com/">Caine's Arcade</a> over and over which sparked conversation about our childhood memories.</div>
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"This world is already more wonderful than we can imagine. Heaven will be better still. I do not doubt that whatever gates there may be, they will be pearly. But I know how pearls are made. Do you? </div>
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In Heaven, the gates will be made of oyster spit. </div>
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Everything has its place in this frame. Everything has its position on the stage. The world is full of comfortable things. The world is full of soft beauty and gentle lapping waves. We would be fools to ignore the gentleness and get caught up in the grit, only able to tell dark stories. But a world of only gentle touches is no truer than a world gone black. Put the colors in their places. Paint the shadows and the darkness. Paint a true picture, with tension.</div>
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The movie isn’t over. The world <i>will</i> end happily. Sorrow goes down in a barrage of bullets, and Grief is executed after a fair trial. Do not fear the shadowy places. You will never be the first one there. Another went ahead and down until He came out the other side.</div>
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Heaven will be wonderful (understatement). It will be more wonderful than we can imagine, even if our imaginations weren’t so stunted by marshmallow visions. </div>
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You will have a body more physical than this one. Heaven will be hard and bright, and the winds will be strong.</div>
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So do not imagine yourself elsewhere. Do not close your eyes and picture a world without thorns, without shadows, without hawks. Instead, use your body like a tool meant to be used up, discarded, and replaced. Better every life you touch. Live now. Relish the tensions, the challenges, and laugh.</div>
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We <b><i>will</i></b> reach the final chapter, </div>
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and have eyes that can stare into the sun, </div>
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eyes that only squint for the Shekinah, </div>
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then we will see laughing children pulling cobras by their tails, </div>
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and hawks and rabbits playing tag."</div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.notesfromthetiltawhirl.com/">nd wilson</a></span></i></div>
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March on, my soul, with might!</div>
</div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-75953692948994272482012-04-04T13:22:00.000-07:002012-04-04T13:22:22.192-07:00Mama Bear Upate | 9<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Happy Early Evening on this Wednesday!<div><br />
</div><div>A brief update:</div><div><br />
</div><div>- Mama is home safe and sound after her big trip to Maryland</div><div>- She received her second chemotherapy treatment on Thursday (6 days ago)</div><div>- With the help of her three medicines she has barely thrown up at all! Praise God!</div><div>- She also says she is in much less pain than the first treatment.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Prayer requests right now are: </div><div>- That she stops losing weight :(</div><div>- And that she stops <i>feeling </i>nauseous. Though she isn't throwing up, she still feels very sick to her stomach and doesn't want to eat much at all. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Today (Wednesday April 4th) she had a port put in so she doesn't have to take her chemo through an IV, which will be a much less painful process.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Thank you for loving her hard! I'll be back in Florida on Easter Sunday. I can't wait.</div><div><br />
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</div></div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-42164932358586750702012-03-27T08:04:00.000-07:002012-03-27T08:04:49.932-07:00Mama Bear Upate | 8<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, indeed."</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>psalm 16:6</i></span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JKuH1uL__DA/T3HEtAzcS4I/AAAAAAAAH2E/bs-16QEmNPU/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-03-08+at+8.58.48+AM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JKuH1uL__DA/T3HEtAzcS4I/AAAAAAAAH2E/bs-16QEmNPU/s400/Screen+shot+2012-03-08+at+8.58.48+AM.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>I found this picture last night of mama in 2004 with her littlest girls (Man were they cute. And little!) (Oh! And the baby she is holding is our youngest cousin, "Alec-son!")<br />
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It brought back so many memories. It was a hard year. Mom had a miscarriage in the fall, but that miscarriage led to us discovering she had cancer. We've reflected often how kind of God it was to let mom have that miscarriage: if she had never even been pregnant with that baby, she wouldn't have been in the doctor's office discovering a weird lump in her breast! If the baby hadn't miscarried, however, she would be facing months of no treatment, which would likely have let her cancer spread to the point where it was out of control (her cancer seems to spread fast and furious!)<br />
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"Your eyes saw his unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for" BabyBaby Snyder.<br />
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That little Snyder child saved mama's life. It's days were numbered, before there was yet one of them. The little life was not wasted or unimportant and we loved that baby. We still do.<br />
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It's a sweet reminder to us as we face this again. It's kind of God, for many reasons, to have us walk through this at this time. Mom's life is valuable to God and her days are numbered. Cancer will not shorten her life, cancer will not rob her of life, cancer will not win, cancer is not more powerful than God. <br />
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"In His book are written, <i>every one</i> of them, the days that were formed for Mama Bear, when as yet there was none of them."<br />
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Our Father has promised her eternal life, Jesus came to <b>secure</b> life, the King will and has won, and nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing is more good and simultaneously powerful than our God.<br />
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As mom's hair begins to fall out again, we treasure verses like these: "Even the <i>hairs of your head </i>are numbered." "You who have been borne by me from before your birth, carried from the womb; even to your old age I am He, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear and I will carry."<br />
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The lines (and hairs!) have fallen for us in pleasant places. Therefore my heart is glad and my whole being rejoices!<br />
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<b>Prayer Requests</b><br />
- Mom's <b>bones in her legs hurt</b> her the most these days. May God relieve her of pain! May He strengthen her bones!<br />
- We are on the hunt for a pretty wig and awesome hats. Pray we find some good options, so mama feels like a lovely woman and not a mannequin ;)<br />
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<b>Praise Report</b><br />
- Mom is in Maryland with me for a week and she went to see her Maryland doctor. The doctor (who we all love and worked with mom last time she had cancer) was very optimistic. Her conversation with mom encouraged us all and we are thrilled to be able to have Dr. Raj involved again. What a blessing!<br />
- Mom is as beautiful as ever. Seriously. If you have a chance to see her in person you'll find it hard not to stare. She's so lovely.</div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-491801876777494542012-03-20T08:41:00.000-07:002012-03-20T08:41:06.631-07:00Mama Bear Upate | 7<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">"Pressure creates diamonds and fire refines the gold."</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">trip lee</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ySmRobxkE5k/T2iUL0v-DfI/AAAAAAAAH10/IWtQ_ch75bE/s1600/91195b006d3111e181bd12313817987b_7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ySmRobxkE5k/T2iUL0v-DfI/AAAAAAAAH10/IWtQ_ch75bE/s320/91195b006d3111e181bd12313817987b_7.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">For those interested in how they can pray and care for mom so well, here is a little of what has been going on:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">- After her chemo treatment on Wednesday March 7th sweet Mom was <b>very, very nauseous</b>. She threw up for the next ten days (she describes it as pregnancy morning sickness mixed with the ache-y "sick" feeling of having the flu.) Yesterday her doctor was not happy <i>at all </i>that she felt so sick so for mom's second round of chemo they are pulling all the stops. She'll be on three anti-nasuea medicines. We would love your prayers<b> that this big-gun game plan works well</b> for mom!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">- Mom's<b> bones in her back, rib cage and legs are hurting quite badly</b>. (Bad enough for mom to mention it... which is pretty bad for her!) The doctor said that sort of pain is often a side effect of chemo because the medicine is working hard on those spots. We would much prefer that be the reason for the pain than for it to be more cancer! But we don't want mom to hurt. Though, I think she would look incredibly classy with a cane ;)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">- She is <b>a rash</b> that is probably a result of her being in the sun too long after chemo ;) But you can't keep a California girl living in Florida out of the sun for long, can you?! A prescription ointment should do the trick.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hhr0Rsu8-38/T2iUK7J6pdI/AAAAAAAAH1s/36gIxuXBWrA/s1600/08f89c4871fc11e180d51231380fcd7e_7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hhr0Rsu8-38/T2iUK7J6pdI/AAAAAAAAH1s/36gIxuXBWrA/s320/08f89c4871fc11e180d51231380fcd7e_7.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">After her doctor's appointment yesterday mom and I went to <a href="http://californiatacostogo.com/">a little taco hut near the hospital that Guy Fieri featured on his show</a>! It was delicious. The slogan for on their menu, bumper stickers, t-shirts and signage says "God is never in a hurry. Relax." Though it may be a surfer dude approach to life, the little sentence spoke to my heart. Mom and I enjoyed our famous tacos in the outdoor dining room and we took our time. We relaxed. It was just good. While, yes, "even in laughter the heart may ache," I am ever surprised at how good it is to do normal things with my mother and family. Our hearts ache for her, but we feel like we are wide-eyed in wonder with so much joy around us.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"></span></span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"></span></span></div><div class="line" id="p20014013_01-1" style="margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">`<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1NeimyYAE_o/T2iUMs4TpeI/AAAAAAAAH18/zXM9FBetsNM/s1600/a6ecd902711411e19e4a12313813ffc0_7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1NeimyYAE_o/T2iUMs4TpeI/AAAAAAAAH18/zXM9FBetsNM/s320/a6ecd902711411e19e4a12313813ffc0_7.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Every text, note, e-mail, gift, meal, and prayer is God walking among us. Mom received a gift from the Shorey ladies and when she opened it she said "Oh! I love getting gifts that I want but would never buy for myself!" The beautiful painted teacup and yummy tea bags made her day. My good friend has a friend who works for John Piper and sent mama a book to enjoy. She was so blessed. "I don't even know him!" Katie treated the little sisters to a day at Disney before their season passes expired. They excitedly brought home a new iPhone case for mom with Cinderella's castle in all it's glory on the back. She still sleeps with the Mickey and Minnie her little Michael boy bought for her while she was in the hospital. Thank you everyone. The love for her and us is nearly too much.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">"when the Spirit is poured upon us from on high,</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"></span></span></div><div class="indent line" id="p23032015_11-1" style="clear: both; color: #363030; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7em; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; text-indent: -4em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><a alt="esv_11" class="va" href="" rel="v23032015" style="color: #284f57; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;"></a>the wilderness becomes a fruitful field,</span></div><div class="indent line" id="p23032015_11-1" style="clear: both; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7em; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; text-indent: -4em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; font-weight: normal;">and </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">righteousness abides in the fruitful field</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030;">.</span></span></div><div class="indent line" id="p23032015_11-1" style="clear: both; color: #363030; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7em; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; text-indent: -4em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b36c38;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030;">The</span><b style="color: #363030;"> effect of righteousness</b> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;">will be peace</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030;">, </span></span></span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">and the<b> result of righteousness</b> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">is quietness and trust forever</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">."</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">isaiah 32:15-18</span></i></span></div><br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: center;">I think these verses are some of the most beautiful in all of Scripture. It's easy to think about a field becoming fruitful by us planting good fruit (and of course God waters the seed!), and what you reap you sow, and sow in the good soil, and work diligently. These things are all true for their context.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">But it's quite humbling, happy and relieving to read how God poured out turns wastelands into fruitful gardens. How it's Him. His Spirit transforms dead hearts, redeems the desserts of life, tills the dry and weary lands. When He comes everything is changed. When He arrives their is life, joy, happiness, quietness, feasting and trust. He turns clammy hospital rooms into bubbly family rooms. He turns doctors offices into a girly-girl afternoon. He brings families that were drifting apart and knits them together. This is all so good. Thank you for praying!</div></div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-28920540367057060652012-03-16T07:05:00.002-07:002012-03-16T07:08:57.713-07:00Mama Bear Upate | 6<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">"the Gospel [is].... <b>a Father, a home, a feast</b> and a complete freedom from our sin or our superiority</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">for hope and happiness. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">These wonders are drawn so beautifully."</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">d. shorey</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jMGLS_mfzHE/T2ND2csn15I/AAAAAAAAH1c/YLnwQpiMMrE/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jMGLS_mfzHE/T2ND2csn15I/AAAAAAAAH1c/YLnwQpiMMrE/s320/photo.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a><i><br />
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</span></i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">A few updates followed by a few thoughts today.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">- I added mom's <b>contact information</b> on the side bar so anyone looking to get in touch with her has a will and a way ;)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">- Yesterday it was confirmed that cancer is not just in her lungs, liver and spine but also lymph nodes, chest cavity and skin (<b>the bumps she was having biopsied turned out to be cancer</b>, too.) The cancer just needs to go away. And seeing it on her skin almost makes me angry and want to punch it. But I'd never punch mama bear ;)</span><br />
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</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">- She's <b>still throwing up everyday</b>. Pray that she can keep food down! Food will obviously help her be strong with nutrients, but it's also just a simple joy to eat good food. We all want her be hydrated, healthy, and strong to walk through the next months of treatment!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">- We found a wedding dress together :D I was expecting to go to store after store for possibly even weeks. But the last dress at the second store was "the one." Mom loved it, my sisters loved it, and one of "our" songs came on in the store while I had it on ;) And just to brag about my mom for a second: not only did she shop with me while she was tired and weak, she was still nauseous and had to run out to throw up many time throughout the day. I don't know how she did it. Or how she does it. She's so strong. She always said she was "fine" when we asked. I know how much she wanted to be there with me to find a gown and I want her to know how much it meant to me that she was. I adore my mom.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4-ED-impl-M/T2NAVCgPdiI/AAAAAAAAH1U/tCSTnFhhmpc/s1600/IMG_2441.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4-ED-impl-M/T2NAVCgPdiI/AAAAAAAAH1U/tCSTnFhhmpc/s320/IMG_2441.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Yesterday mom went have an IV drip (which helps her have enough water after all the nauseous-ness.) We had a wonderful afternoon talking and laughing. Mama Bear even whipped out some subtle dance moves ;) She made a comment during our conversation that I'll never forget. "It's strange how I am actually happier and have <i>more </i>hope now that I'm sick." In the middle of showing mom my color-schemes for a master-bedroom, exchanging awkward stories, and thanking the "good nurse" Ginger for being so careful, my mom had so much she found wonderful. In the Martha Stewart magazine: "Oh, these blues are beautiful. God did an amazing thing when he made color." Getting her IV in: "I'm so glad you're my nurse, you're the best. You put IV's in so well." Talking about living in Florida: "On the days I can do things, I can't wait to... We won't be living here very long!" (Today we are going to the beach, aquarium and dinner at her favorite Clearwater restaurant.") On her dinner: "There is just nothing like a good tortilla chip with good salsa." About her life: "To live is Christ, to die is gain. I really only have good ahead of me. It just gets better and better." On being cared for when sick: "Look at ALL these beautiful flowers I get to look at all day long! Dad got me those." On all her texts and e-mails "One of the best parts of being sick is having people tell you that they are praying every single day. Every day! It's amazing." We feel like we are feasting these days.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">She's incredible and one of these people: "<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">How beautiful are the feet of those </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">who publish peace, who brings good news of happiness, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">who say to Zion, 'Your God reigns'."</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And to end this post on the perfect (literal) note, Lauren just came walking into the room to get her swimsuit singing <i>"Blessed be the name of the Lord! Blessed be your name! You give and take away! You give and take away! Blessed be the name of the Lord!"</i></span></span></div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-30810044639368392042012-03-12T16:04:00.000-07:002012-03-12T16:04:31.190-07:00Mama Bear Update | 5<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">"With God, we shall do valiantly."<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>psalm 60:12</i></span><br />
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Good afternoon friends and family! With a very hopeful, happy and full but nonetheless sad heart, I have some "official" news about mama.<br />
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Her doctor reviewed the PET scan results with her today and hear was the report:<br />
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- She has stage 4 cancer in her lungs, liver and bones of her spine.<br />
- The chemotherapy treatment they have already begun for the cancer in her lungs is going to also treat the cancer in her liver and spine. So treatment will carry on!<br />
- She is taking a two new medicines: one to help her bones stay strong and not break! And another to help her nausea.<br />
- She had also lost eight pounds since her chemo treatment and was quite dehydrated so the doctor put her on an IV this afternoon to help her be refreshed, strong and healthy.<br />
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Thank you for praying for us. Mom is so strong and valiant. She helps us be strong too, which is quite a "holy" experience. We love her so much and crave your prayers! God <i>is </i>good.</div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-20563498759089064892012-03-07T07:08:00.000-08:002012-03-07T07:08:58.589-08:00Mama Bear Update | 4<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Hello hello! Spring is in the air... and sunshine just always seems happy! </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Here is the latest on mama:</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">- She did have her PET scan, and we were told we'd hear results on Monday (two days ago) we haven't heard anything yet. Apparently this is par for the course in the medical world and probably frustrates "us" all more than it does mom. She's very patient (though eager to hear the results too...<b> pray they'll get PET scan results to us quickly</b>!)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">(as a little refresher: the PET scan was going to give us results on her liver and spine "spots" and let us know what those spots are.)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">- She starts <u>chemotherapy today</u>. Her <b>prayer requests are that she has good IV</b> (Lord, give her a nurse with skill!) <b>and that it doesn't hurt <i>too </i>bad</b>. She knows eventually chemo will get harder and harder, but she says she'd "like to to start not too hard!"</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">- Later this week she is going to have a biopsy on some <u>bumps on her arm</u>. No one is really sure what they are or where they came from... or even how they are going to do the biopsy. She would prefer to just be put under so it won't hurt, but they haven't decided if they are going to do that yet. <b>Pray for little pain during the procedure!</b></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">- Her chest has (for the last few months) had <u>a sharp "traveling" pain </u>that had gone away but now seems to have returned. A thoracic doctor said that it was either a disease (which I'm currently blanking on the name of right now) or cancer that has spread. Mom laughed telling me how blunt he was saying it. We appreciate the honesty ;) but there ain't nothin' wrong with a good bedside manner! <b>Pray that it, well, goes away and is healed!</b> But we would obviously prefer <b>it to not be more cancer.</b> Please pray for that.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">- I'm back in Maryland until Monday (3/12), and then I'll go back to Florida for two weeks! Mom and I are going to hit up the wedding dress stores. It will be so much fun :)<b> Pray we find a dress and that we laugh a lot!</b></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“Heaven is my throne,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">and the earth is my footstool;</span><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">All these things my hand has made,</span></b><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">and so all these things came to be.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Rejoice with Jerusalem, and be glad for her,</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">all you who love her; </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">rejoice with her in joy,</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">...may you <b>drink deeply with delight</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><b> </b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">from her glorious abundance.</span><span class="end-line-group" style="display: block; height: 1em;"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">Behold, <b>I will extend peace to her</b> like a river,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"></span></span><br />
<div class="line" id="p23066012_01-1" style="clear: both; color: #363030; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5.5em; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-indent: -3.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="verse-num inline" id="v23066012-1" style="color: #b36c38; font-weight: bold; left: 20px; margin-left: 0.7em; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0.15em; position: absolute; text-indent: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><a alt="esv_01" class="va" href="" rel="v23066012" style="color: #284f57; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;"></a></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">and you shall nurse, you shall be carried upon her hip,</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">a</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">nd bounced upon her knees.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">As one whom his mother comforts,</span></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">so I will comfort you;</span></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.</span></u></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></u></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You shall see, and your heart shall rejoice;</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">your bones shall flourish like the grass."</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span><br />
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</div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-74590668728487926292012-02-27T09:29:00.000-08:002012-02-27T09:29:30.992-08:00Mama Bear Update | 3<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It's been quite a whirlwind around here! So much to update on! SO! On Friday morning mom had an x-ray to check how her lung had held up with NO chest tube for 24 hours. If it was still up and had not collapsed, she would be released to go hooOoome! We were expecting the x-ray tech between 7:00 and 8:00 am. She didn't actually leave for her x-ray until after 10:00. The waiting was painful ;) When she came back from x-ray we were hoping to hear results fairly quick. I started packing the room up... We called dad to make sure he could come get her... We didn't order lunch at the hospital... And 11:00 passed... 12:00 passed... 1:00 passed... 2:00 passed... With no results. Mom wondered if they were afraid to tell her bad news. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eKJ739ySLpk/T0u15-bxnmI/AAAAAAAAH08/BsT4X8Pn_xU/s1600/d60db7445e7511e1abb01231381b65e3_7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eKJ739ySLpk/T0u15-bxnmI/AAAAAAAAH08/BsT4X8Pn_xU/s400/d60db7445e7511e1abb01231381b65e3_7.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Around 2:30 three doctors came in. The results weren't quite as positive as we were hoping: her lung had started filling back up again and was not looking "as good" as it had been the day before. One doctor wanted her to wait 24 more hours in the hospital. Another thought she <i>could </i>go home, but was shocked that it hadn't stayed up. The most skeptical of the three finally said "If you PROMISE to take it easy, and you PROMISE to get an X-ray done on Monday, I'll let you go home. You're so nice and I just feel so bad keeping you here. But know that it's against my better judgement!" We take that statement to the bank and by 3:30 we were outta there!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Gs767LKnl4Q/T0u1t_qPcaI/AAAAAAAAH00/PhUt3Sk_y00/s1600/100001545f3511e180c9123138016265_7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Gs767LKnl4Q/T0u1t_qPcaI/AAAAAAAAH00/PhUt3Sk_y00/s400/100001545f3511e180c9123138016265_7.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>We are all very much enjoying have her HERE. It's just not the same when mama is gone. Her chest has felt very very tight and she's worn out. Today (Monday) she kept her promise and went back to get an X-ray. Since she's feeling not-so-swell she had a feeling her lung may have collapsed again. But we were thrilled to find out that the top part of her lung had greatly improved! No collapsing at all :D The bottom lobe does have more fluid... but that is where the tumor is and to be expected. We are very excited!<br />
<br />
She has an appointment on Wednesday with her oncologist who will be scheduling her PET scan (pray they can do it Thursday or Friday!) The PET scan will give us the information we need about her spine and liver spots. Once they have those results we can begin her treatment plan. We are expecting to start chemo next week.<br />
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Thanks for being patient with a very happy, very tired and very engaged blog-updater ;)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mTubkisk75E/T0u8A8kRJhI/AAAAAAAAH1E/rcUhEI1mNf4/s1600/photo-5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mTubkisk75E/T0u8A8kRJhI/AAAAAAAAH1E/rcUhEI1mNf4/s400/photo-5.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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</div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-15299210417170769612012-02-23T11:08:00.000-08:002012-02-23T11:08:57.574-08:00Mama Bear Update | 2<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Great news today! Her X-ray this morning showed a full, raised lung! The doctor took her chest tube OUT. She is not hooked up to any cords, machines, monitors, draining containers or wires! She's free!</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qBZQ8LuRxis/T0aNVb4QqDI/AAAAAAAAH0s/shmWtS9LHS8/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qBZQ8LuRxis/T0aNVb4QqDI/AAAAAAAAH0s/shmWtS9LHS8/s400/photo.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our quiet, thoughtful, always-up-to-something Dude bought mom these mice with house own money at Disney this weekend. They've been in bed with mom ever since!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>If tomorrow morning at 10am her lung has stayed up all on it's little lonesome she will be going home - for a long, long time we pray ;) Thank you for your support and prayers!<br />
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</div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-69946835196600054372012-02-22T18:08:00.002-08:002012-02-22T18:16:27.077-08:00Mama Bear Update | 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">Hello friends and family! I am resurrecting this old blog to give the latest news on Mama Bear's health.</div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://s232.photobucket.com/albums/ee192/kristenleighphotography/2011%20fave%202/?action=view&current=ef8588705bdf11e1b9f1123138140926_7.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="400" src="http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee192/kristenleighphotography/2011%20fave%202/ef8588705bdf11e1b9f1123138140926_7.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">In case you have just heard the news or are interested in "what happened" here is a little debrief: Mom has had lymphedema in her left arm since July which makes her arm double to triple its normal size due to swelling. Thanks to compression sleeves and physical therapy she it is being well treated, and the symptoms are just more annoying then anything ;) Apparently lymphedema is a possible side effect of radiation, even years down the road. (Her breast cancer had spread to her lymph nodes back in 2004 and was treated with chemo and radiation.) In December 2011 Mom started feeling extremely fatigued and short of breath. Assuming it was just the extra holiday busy-ness and stress, she tried to get some rest post-holidays. When she didn't feel any better she went to the doctor who diagnosed her with the flu. Go home, get some rest. After a few more weeks her breathing was only worse. Her next trip to her physical therapist (for her lymphedema) ended up being a trip to the cardiologist (people had speculated that mom was experiencing congestive heart failure, or maybe had pneumonia.)</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">On February 7, 2012 the cardiologist x-rayed and did an echocardiogram and found a fully collapsed lung and two spots near her heart, but she was fairly certain the spots were on her lung NOT her heart, because her heart was working perfect and it would make sense that mom was complaining of shortness of breath if her lungs had growths on them. The cardiologist asked mom to come back the following day (February 8th) for a cat scan. The cat scan results were passed onto the best pulmonary doctor around ;)</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- On February 9th a radiologist did a thorancentesis (her first chest tube) to drain fluid out of Mama Bear's lung... all were a bit shocked to drain 1500 cc's of fluid out of her lung. But! Mom felt great and had her first restful night of sleep in month's!</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- On Monday February 13th mom got a call from her pulmonary doctor that she needed to come into the hospital immediately. She was x-rayed again and her lung was still completely collapsed. She left the hospital and on her way home had multiple calls from her doctor who, when he finally spoke with her (you know how moms are with hearing their cell phones ;) haha just kidding?) he essentially said "Go home, get a change of clothes, and come right back to the hospital. You'll need to be here overnight." When she arrived at the hospital with my dad she was admitted and they gave her a second chest tube (one that stayed in longer) with the hopes that this one would drain her lungs and give them a chance to puff right back up!</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- The next day, Valentines Day!, they did an x-ray to see how she was progressing. The lung was still fully collapsed. They made plans for a surgery to insert a fatter chest tube (her third one) and do a procedure called pleurodesis (if you would like to google it you can, but it sounds too awful for me to type here!)</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- Surgery Day! And also biopsy day! And big hopes for the new chest tube to work!</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- Thursday the 16 and Friday the 17th were mostly restful days, not much pain and good results on her x-rays: it seemed like the chest tube was working! They let us know that her lung needed to stay up SANS chest tube for 24 hours before she could go home. What was once an over-night visit had turned into at <i>least </i>a week long visit! We also found out on Friday that the growths on her lung were definitely cancer (which we kind of expected but it still sucks to hear.) This was also the day I flew in!</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- On February 18th mom woke up in the middle of the night (somewhere around 2 am) and felt different. She was pretty sure her lung had collapsed again. They did an x-ray right away and gave her the sad news: it had collapsed :-/ The doctors spent the day trying to help her cough, take big breaths, sit up and force the lung back up... but to no avail.</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- Sunday the 19th they performed a bronchoscopy to see if there was any mucous blockage or reason for the collapse. They also scraped the tubes to make sure <i>everything </i>was clear. X-rays that day still revealed a collapsed lung.</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- Monday, February 20 to Tuesday, February 21 were the worst 24 hours yet. She had a to have a fourth chest tube put in (bed side :( they wouldn't put her under for such a "small procedure." This woman is a woman who has had seven natural child births and <i>loved </i>it, is a nurse, has had many surgeries and basically tough as nails: if <i>she</i>, in tears, asks to be put under because the process hurts her so bad, I believe her. But they wouldn't.) She also discovered she was allergic to iodine so her back broke out in red hives and itched her the rest of the day! Come Tuesday morning a good but gruff doctor came in to remove her third chest tube. This was the first procedure I was in the room for. Poor mama just cried and cried. It broke my heart and I didn't know what to do. I hated watching how hard they were pulling and grabbing at the tape, her back and the tube. Even the most gentle sponge baths I've given her, or simplest activity like putting on a bathrobe can cause her to flinch in pain, so I can't imagine how awful that must have felt: wide awake and not numb.) She's been in lots of pain since then: I'm sure she is bruised and her muscles are sore and she thinks this fourth tube is right on a nerve, because it's by far the worst feeling yet!</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- But! Today! Wednesday the 22 is showing lots of wonderful results for all that pain! Her lungs have stayed up! First they removed the air suction from the chest tube for 12 hours - and it stayed. Then they removed water suction from the chest tube for 12 - hours - and it stayed. Right now we are in the midst 12 hours of the tube being clamped (no suction at all... so for all intents and purposes it isn't there.) The doctor just checked her ten minutes ago and said she sounded great! If the x-ray tomorrow shows that her lung is still up (pray pray pray!) they will remove the tube all-together. If her lung stays up for 24 hour she will be able to go home Friday, the 24th! (almost two weeks after arriving! Poor mama!)</div></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s232.photobucket.com/albums/ee192/kristenleighphotography/2011%20fave%202/?action=view&current=ec502cf45a6411e1abb01231381b65e3_7-1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="400" src="http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee192/kristenleighphotography/2011%20fave%202/ec502cf45a6411e1abb01231381b65e3_7-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">EVERYone loves her new monster socks. They really are the cutest things.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- Concluding remarks: The oncologist and the pulmonary doctor informed us that the cancer on her lung is NOT <b>lung</b> cancer, but <b>breast cancer</b> that as metastasized (definitely one of my vocabulary words from Physical Science with Mrs. Ellis in ninth grade!) to her lung. That is actually good news! They would like to start her on chemotherapy as soon as possible, and will not be able to do radiation again. They also seem to frown on the idea of surgery.</div></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s232.photobucket.com/albums/ee192/kristenleighphotography/2011%20fave%202/?action=view&current=9da6e33a5b1911e19896123138142014_7.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="400" src="http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee192/kristenleighphotography/2011%20fave%202/9da6e33a5b1911e19896123138142014_7.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Her room has been called the "Oh Suzanne! Spa", like a "dewey, supple garden", the "happiest room on the floor" and "a rain forest." I've managed to trick all the hotel staff into thinking I'm neat and orderly ;)</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><b>PRAYER REQUESTS</b></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- That that sweet ol' <b>lung would stay up</b> nice and high!</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- That the <b>cancer would be minimal</b> (she actually also has spots on her liver and spine, too. We haven't even started the process of diagnosing or treating those spots. We're told to expect that they are cancer, but pray pray pray! Her treatment for her lungs might be different if the spine and liver spots are different than they are expecting.)</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- Pray that she would be in as<b> little pain</b> as possible</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- Pray for <b>rest and sleep</b>! She hasn't been sleeping well at all.</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- Pray she can get <b>home very soon</b>. She misses her little people and they miss her. Pray for their hearts! This is going to be a big year for them.</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">- Pray <b>for Father Snyder</b> ;) as he is working very, very hard to run the house, get the kids to school, do his job to make money, visit and communicate with his wife and rest himself.</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://s232.photobucket.com/albums/ee192/kristenleighphotography/2011%20fave%202/?action=view&current=a726e6e05c2111e19896123138142014_7.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="400" src="http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee192/kristenleighphotography/2011%20fave%202/a726e6e05c2111e19896123138142014_7.jpg" width="400" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">And now for the end of post verse, that really is the happiest and best thing we could end today with!</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><u>Psalm 21:</u></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">"For You meet him with rich blessings;</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">You set a crown of fine gold upon his head."</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>(From enjoying good food together in a beige hospital room (I like to run out and bring food in from other places haha), to laughing at re-runs of Mad About You, to listening to Clair de Lune play out of my laptop while fireless candles flicker... from new friends who stop by and really do care, to funny nurses and forgetful techs and sweet ol' food service ladies, to new colorful pajamas and socks, getting lots of phone calls and texts saying "We're praying!" and "We care!", braiding and curling hair (while we still can!), to reading Psalms together and secretly decorating her room while she is out for procedures... from the privilege of being cared for in a clean, professional hospital, to making Arnold Palmer's nearly every lunch, and giving long back-scratches and doing pedicures... we feel rich with blessing.)</i></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://s232.photobucket.com/albums/ee192/kristenleighphotography/2011%20fave%202/?action=view&current=868a49a25c0a11e19e4a12313813ffc0_7.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="400" src="http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee192/kristenleighphotography/2011%20fave%202/868a49a25c0a11e19e4a12313813ffc0_7.jpg" width="400" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">"He asked life of You; You gave it to him,</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">length of days forever and ever."</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>(We are so grateful that He does indeed extend life here on earth, but that when these days come to an end, we continue on to days of life forever and ever! It's not so much that we live and then we die, but rather, we die and then we live!)</i></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><a href="http://s232.photobucket.com/albums/ee192/kristenleighphotography/2011%20fave%202/?action=view&current=10ae45885b0d11e180c9123138016265_7.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="400" src="http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee192/kristenleighphotography/2011%20fave%202/10ae45885b0d11e180c9123138016265_7.jpg" width="400" /></a></span> </i></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">"For You make him most blessed forever;</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">You make him glad with the joy of Your presence."</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>(Especially for me who fainted the last time I was in a hospital, I've been shocked at how joyful the last week has been. We are glad! His presence is here and we are so well. How sweet it is to be loved be Him.)</i></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><br />
</i></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">"Be exalted, O LORD, in your strength!</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">We will sing and praise your power."</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>(Amen, amen.)</i></div></div></div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-13005886742130502802011-07-12T08:40:00.000-07:002011-07-12T08:57:46.518-07:00post 24<div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today I was going to blog my thoughts on "the situation" happening in my church.</span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I went to look for a quote from </span><a href="http://www.enjoyinggrace.org/links/blogs/bbgf---4.29.11.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">this post</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> to use in my post.</span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But then I wanted to quote everything.</span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe I'll blog my thoughts tomorrow.</span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because this is what is on my heart today.</span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> </div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #3c3a38; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As much as possible live at peace</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and enjoy the life of grace. </span></div></div><div style="color: #3c3a38; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Focus more on what is good than what is wrong. </span></div></div><div style="color: #3c3a38; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Live with warmth, unity, and respect among fellow-believers, </span></div></div><div style="color: #3c3a38; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">even with our many different perspectives and convictions.</span></div></div><div style="color: #3c3a38; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do all this and then, when the grace of God </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">or the freedom of God's people are diminished</span></div></div><div style="color: #3c3a38; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> - join Paul, who without a blink or a pause saw </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Peter's legalistic attitude and leadership </span></div></div><div style="color: #3c3a38; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and announced, 'I withstood him to his face.'</span></div></div><div style="color: #3c3a38; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> </div></div><div style="color: #3c3a38; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you would go to battle, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">go to battle for the radically free grace of God</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">for the relentless promise of joy, </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and for (in the words of Steve Brown) the scandalous freedom</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> that our Savior fully purchased and purposed for His people.</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...make a habit of calling folks primarily to faith and hope and joy </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and an insatiable appetite for </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the treasure that God is and gives</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Generally, I believe that we are called far more often to </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">think and laugh and feast and sing and </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>announce the extravagant gift of saving grace</b></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> - than we are called to arms.</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But</span></u></b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> here I plead for us to battle with tenacity and relentlessness:</span></u></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Fight for a big, bold, unaltered Gospel </b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and for the freedom and joy of God's people. </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Resist legalism in all its forms. </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oppose authoritarian, controlling, or manipulative leadership. </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let no one rob you or others of a free conscience, </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">nor let them compel your service or collect your cash by guilt-trips or misuse of Scripture.</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> </div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Truly, we have spiritual enemies that war against our souls; </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[my note: and these enemies aren't leaders, pastors, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">bloggers, document-writers,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> the church, the lost, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">sinners, or people. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our enemy is</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> "</span><a href="http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=ephesians+6"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_708147669"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"</span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"><a href="http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=Ephesians+2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the passions of our flesh"</span></a></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and to these foes we can cry "</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"><a href="http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=Ephesians+2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">By grace {we} have been saved!</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"]</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but in that conflict </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">we fight a defeated foe</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">who has already been crushed by Christ, </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and our Lord has also equipped us with Gospel-armor </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so that </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">we need not fear or dread</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> the enemy's fiery darts.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">--</span></div></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"He gives more grace."</span></i></div></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">james 4:6</span></span></div></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">--</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">our God ever yearns His resources to share;</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">the Father </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">both</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">thee</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> and </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">thy load</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> will </span></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">upbear</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></span></div></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;"><ol style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><li style="list-style-type: none; margin-top: 1em;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">His love has </span></span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">no limits</span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">, His grace has no measure,</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">His power no boundary known unto men;</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><div style="text-align: center;">for out of His infinite riches <i>in Jesus</i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again</span>."</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">-- </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; line-height: 21px;">"..straining forward<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"> to what lies ahead</span>, </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; line-height: 21px;">I <b>press on toward the goal</b> for the prize </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; line-height: 21px;">of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">philippians 3:14</span></span></span></div></span></span></span></li>
</ol></span>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-19183852635857854132011-03-31T12:59:00.000-07:002011-03-31T13:03:42.823-07:00post 23<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0022ff; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 19px;"></span></div><pre style="font: normal normal normal 14pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><b>a hymn</b></span></span></span></pre><pre style="font: normal normal normal 14pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
</span></span></span></pre><pre style="font: normal normal normal 14pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Spirit of God, descend upon my heart</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">wean it from earth.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><div style="text-align: center;">stoop to<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"> my weakness,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"> mighty as Thou art,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;">and make me love Thee as i ought to love.
</div><div style="text-align: auto;">
</div></span></span></span></pre><pre style="font: normal normal normal 14pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">God and King!</span></span></span></pre><pre style="font: normal normal normal 14pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">all, all Thine own, </span></span></span></pre><pre style="font: normal normal normal 14pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-size: small;">soul, heart and strength and mind!</span></pre><pre style="font: normal normal normal 14pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;">i see Thy cross; there teach my heart to cling</span>;</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">o <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">let me seek Thee</span>, and o<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"> let me find</span>.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">teach me to feel that Thou art always nigh;</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;">teach me the struggles of the soul to bear</span></div><div style="text-align: center;">to check the rising doubt, the rebel sigh;</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><div style="text-align: center;">teach me the patience of unanswered prayer.</div></span><div style="text-align: center;">
</div><div style="text-align: center;">teach me to love Thee as i ought to love,</div><div style="text-align: center;">one holy passion filling all my frame:</div><div style="text-align: center;">the baptism of the heav'n descended Dove</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My heart an altar</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> and </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Thy love the flame.</span></span></div></span></span></span></pre><pre style="font: normal normal normal 14pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large; font-style: normal;">
</span></span></i></span></span></pre><pre style="font: normal normal normal 14pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0022ff; font-size: 19px; font-style: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0022ff; font-size: 19px; font-style: normal; white-space: normal;"><pre style="display: inline !important; font: normal normal normal 14pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">george croley</span></span></i></pre></span></span></span></i></span> </span></span></i></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">|</span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">spirit of God, descend upon my heart</span></span></i></pre>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-16470641817283188282011-03-22T17:47:00.000-07:002011-03-22T17:47:00.649-07:00post 22 {personal testimony}<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is my story of my God and how great He is.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">--</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">August 20, 1989</span></span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">I was born on the exact day God planned for me,</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">to start this life and live it as many days as God allotted for me.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The daughter to one rescued worldly rebel,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">with a past of extreme pain and regret,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">born to and raised by God-less parents,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">who were also born to raised by God-less parents.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And I was also the daughter of one spared "church kid,"</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">with a past of young faith + continued faith,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">born to and raised by Christian parents,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">also born to and raised by Christian parents.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Such different settings,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">such different worlds,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">pursued and loved and rescued by the exact same God.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miraculously He brought mom + dad from opposite coasts</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">to the exact same church in a brand new state for them both.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They met, married + became parents.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">One hoping God would continue a legacy of Christian offspring,</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">another hoping He would break a generational curse of worldly offspring.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">February 22, 1991</span></span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">This night is the first memory of my life.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was 18 months old,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and my 12-day-old brother stopped breathing during a nap.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mom checked on him,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">he was blue,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">she did CPR and called for help.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And the very, very first memory I have of my entire life is this:</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">sitting on my grandma's lap,</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">while she read me "Pat the Bunny,"</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">as blue + red ambulance lights flashed in the window</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">from the dark rainy night outside.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many men in white came running in,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and they left just as fast.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With my mom.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And my dad.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And my brother.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">Grandma, the woman who raised my mother, held me and prayed</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><i>"Oh God, help.</i></span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><i>Oh help, God. </i></span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><i>Help."</i></span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember knowing something was wrong,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and God could help.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(my brother was just fine, by the way)</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">October 1991</span></span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">I climbed onto my dad's lap one night for our weekly</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">"Situation World" talks.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He'd explain to me the two-year-old version</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">of outer space,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">politics,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">his work,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the economy,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and God.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We'd sit on his blue chair in the living room and having "special talks."</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One night we talked about heaven and hell.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was wearing polka-dot pajamas,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and had curlers in my hair.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And I did not like the situation of hell.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">I remember understanding that heaven was where God lived.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And it was the best place ever.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Better then the park,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and better then McDonalds,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and better then grandma's house! </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">THE BEST.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But because I disobeyed mom and dad (and God,)</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wasn't allowed to go to heaven.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had to go to hell.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">God does not live in hell.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hell was punishment.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">I was scared.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I also remember understanding that if I wanted to live in heaven with God,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I needed to ask God to live in me.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Since God lived on earth,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and never disobeyed his mom or dad,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He died my hell for me,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and if I believed that I would be able to go to heaven.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">It was basic: </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God is in heaven, </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to be where God is.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's the best place ever.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, even though I disobey, </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He loves me and wants me to be with Him.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And God proved that through the life of Jesus.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">And I believed it.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At two years old.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dad and I prayed,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">God took over my heart and life</span>.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">January 1995</span></span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">I was in 1st grade and I memorized Psalm 23,</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">which to this day I quote to myself the most</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and remember the most</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">of all the scriptures I've ever memorized.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>He makes me lie down in green pastures.</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>He leads me beside still waters.</i></span></span><span style="color: #666666; font: 13.0px Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> </i></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>He restores my soul.</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>He leads me in paths of righteousness</i></span></span><span style="color: #666666; font: 13.0px Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> </i></span></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>for his name's sake.</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,</i></span></span><span style="color: #666666; font: 13.0px Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> </i></span></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I will fear no evil,</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>for You are with me;</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Your rod and your staff,</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>they comfort me.</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>You prepare a table before me</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>in the presence of my enemies;</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>You anoint my head with oil;</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>my cup overflows.</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Surely goodness and mercy</i></span></span><span style="color: #666666; font: 13.0px Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> </i></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>shall follow me</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>all the days of my life,</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>and I shall dwell</i></span></span><span style="color: #666666; font: 13.0px Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> </i></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>in the house of the Lord</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>forever.</i></span></span></div><div style="color: #666666; font: 13.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">May 1995</span></span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My 1st grade class was having a Independence Day celebration at school,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">in part to welcome a new girl to our church,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">who had just been adopted from Russia.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We were supposed to wear red, white and blue</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and come to school prepared for a patriotic parade around the building.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">My mom bought a sparkly fireworks necklace for me to give to my new friend.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But when the day rolled around,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wanted to wear the necklace myself.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">I didn't want to give it to the new girl.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I didn't care if she felt welcome.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wanted to wear the necklace.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My parents didn't say </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"No, you MUST give it to her."</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And they didn't say</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fine, just wear it."</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Instead, they sent me to my room to pray,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">giving me the wise advice</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">"Ask God what you think you should do."</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">it was the first time I remember God "speaking" to me.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I started to pray my 6-year-old prayer,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and I knew in my heart I was selfish. Unkind. </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I knew I needed to give my friend the necklace,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God lived in my heart,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and God called me to do something.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I came back to my parents and told them.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was such a joy to give my friend the sparkly necklace.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">Such joy to follow God.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">April 1996</span></span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">I was in second grade, and it was Easter Sunday.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Robin Boisvert was teaching the 1st-3rd grade class at church.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He was talking about the pain of the cross.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The whip marks,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the nails,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the thorns,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the thirst.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It sounded absolutely horrible to me.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And then he said something that changed my little life:</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"The physical pain was nothing compared to the pain </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">of Jesus' Father turning His face away from Him.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God forsook His Son."</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">Mr. B explained what "forsook" was.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He explained the emotional, spiritual and physical agony of God</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">pouring out His wrath on His Son.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">At the time I couldn't understand why that was worse then nails in your hands.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">But I remember that he said it</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And I thought about it a <i>lot.</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">June 1998</span></span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was 8 years old,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and after taking a mini-class,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">talking with my pastor and my parents,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">I was baptized in front of my whole church in a swimming pool in the mountains.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(My family lived in California at the time.)</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Baptism did not save me,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but was an outward picture of what happened inside when I was saved,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">drowned in the love of God</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">and wiped completely clean.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I understood I was doing this to honor and obey God,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">and that I was already saved.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">July 1999</span></span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I was 9 years old,</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">and had just for the first experienced </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">a powerful, emotional move of the Holy Spirit.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">After watching Pilgrims Progress at church,</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I wept and shook and fell on the ground</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">in the worship time afterwards.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I had never <i>felt </i>God so present before.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">My family had just moved across the country (for the second time in 15 months),</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my mom was pregnant (also for the second time in 15 months, but the first ended in miscarriage),</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and five days before her due date,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">my mom and I flew back to the west coast to see my dying grandmother.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We never quite made it.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While we were in the hospital parking lot,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">Grandma left this rotting world,</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">and left her cancer-eaten body,</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">and entered the gates of Heaven,</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">where God lives.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was heart-broken.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We didn't get to say good-bye.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This was so sudden, it happened so fast.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My mom wasn't expecting this,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">she collapsed in her sisters arms,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and wept and shook and fell to the ground.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My aunts and uncles and cousins and grandfather cried.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">"Help God.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">Oh God, help."</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death… </i></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Your staff comforts me."</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That night, sleeping in the bedroom my mom grew up in,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">in the house where my grandma raised her,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">I dreamt about grandma in heaven.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I couldn't wait to join her.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And a few days later <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">we welcomed a new baby</span>,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God's perfectly timed gift to our family.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I, to this day, can't remember a time where I felt </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God's incredible kindness towards me,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">or understood His sovereign control + intentional plans + perfect orchestration for my life.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I just absolutely loved my new little brother.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"You anoint my head with oil,</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>my cup overflows."</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fall 2004</span></span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was 14, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">a freshman in highschool,</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">oldest child in a family of seven kids,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">happy as a clam.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mom was pregnant with number eight,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and I was completely thrilled.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I loved babies,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">loved my siblings,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and loved being a big sister.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But then mom wasn't pregnant anymore.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">The baby died,</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">and I cried.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"What was the point of that, God?"</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I wondered.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then one Saturday morning a few weeks after her miscarriage,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my dad told us some more news.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">Mom had cancer.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">Breast cancer.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">The same cancer my grandma died from.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mom had had it for quite some time.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If she hadn't had the miscarriage she likely would have died.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If she hadn't had the miscarriage she wouldn't have been at the doctor,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">wouldn't have even known she was sick.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Even if somehow they DID find out she had cancer,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">at the rate it was spreading,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">they would not have been able to treat a pregnant woman</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">in the aggressive way they needed to.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"The Lord is my shepherd. You are with me;</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>your staff comforts me."</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">In a whirlwind year </span>of multiple surgeries,</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">chemotherapy, radiation, hair loss, wigs, throwing up,</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">growing up, flowers, meals, prayers,</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">community, tears, memories and lessons,</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">God taught me more about Himself.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"Surely goodness and mercy</i></span></span><span style="color: #666666; font: 13.0px Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> </i></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>shall follow me</i></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>all the days of my life."</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">His goodness does follow me.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But it's not how I would define "good."</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">It's God's good.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A lot of times God's good is quite hard.</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God's good forsook His Son, after all.</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And put nails in His hands.</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="font: 12.0px Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But "</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>He leads me in paths of righteousness</i></span></span><span style="color: #666666; font: 13.0px Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> </i></span></span></span><span style="font: 16.0px 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>for His name's sake."</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not on paths of easiness, nor paths of clarity.</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not paths I'd choose or paths with no thorns.</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And certainly not paths for MY namesake.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">My Shepard leads His flock to where He knows is good.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'd be a stupid lamb in the brambles,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">or a terrified lamb in the danger of lions,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">if it wasn't for the good Shepard who doesn't let me wander.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's not because I wouldn't wander:</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I would. I do!</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But He doesn't let me go far.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">He doesn't forsake me.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He pursues me on His initiative, the ultimate leader.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He leads me beside still waters.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's His doing, His initiative, His faithfulness and His loyalty.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And I've grown to <i><b>so</b></i> trust His love.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I knew I did before,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but I do so much more now.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every thorny patch and stormy night and chaotic mess </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">has proven how good He is over and over.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"I shall not want."</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There isn't anything I desire other then Him.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He's all I want,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">because He's all I need.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">Such joy to follow God!</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">March 2011</span></span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">It's been almost 8 years since my mom had cancer.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;">I've had the incredible honor of walking through more trials since then.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nothing incredibly traumatic,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know many who have walked through much worse,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it's not even right to compare,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but they were difficult enough for me,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a simple emotional human.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Close friends rebelling, best friends mom dying, foster kids, </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">questioning my faith, starting a business, paying taxes ;)</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">relationships changing, getting hurt,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">hurting others, rethinking "everything I believe",</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">crying, for the first time really understanding "grace",</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my family moving away, me deciding to stay here on my own,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">watching friends with dating issues, marriage issues,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">fertility issues, heart-break issues.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Watching friends lose children, spouses, health, money.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life."</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">It's true. </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It never stops.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It follows me.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can't escape it.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">The rod is good.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">The staff is good.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The valley is good.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The shadows are good.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The streams are good.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The pastures are good.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They hurt. They're hard.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">they're good.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">Because the Shepard leads me to all those places.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Come what may!</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And someday,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">after more lovely paths + more scary paths,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(and it can't come soon enough,)</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He'll lead me home,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and I'll live with Him forever.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">I'll live where God lives.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I declared,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and saved,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and proclaimed…</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and I am God.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is none who can deliver from my hand.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">I work,</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">who can turn it back?</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Behold, I am doing a new thing,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">now it springs forth!</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I will make a way in the wilderness,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">waters in the desert.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">You did not call upon me,</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">but I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my namesake,</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and I will not remember your sins."</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I have been crucified with Christ,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">it is no longer I who live,</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">but Christ who lives in me.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The life I now live in the flesh,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I live by faith in the Son of God,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">who loved me</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and gave Himself for me."</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's so all about Him.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He loved me before I was born,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He died my hell also before I was born,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">then later He made me,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He worked in my little sinful heart,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He changed me,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He helped me,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He led me,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He fed me,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He taught me,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He lives in me </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">this all is for He.</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And when the situations of this world are over,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I will go to THE best place ever,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the place I don't deserve to ever see,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">because of goodness and mercy that are promised to me,</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'll live in Heaven with God.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'll be there because He never, ever forsook me.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart!</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,</i></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>and there proclaim, "My God how Great Thou Art!</i>"</span></span></div><div><br />
</div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-59905664616420541402011-03-03T12:42:00.000-08:002011-03-03T12:42:45.268-08:00post 21<div style="text-align: center;">as i've been at my desk a lot this week, i've been listening to some great messages.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://fm.thevillagechurch.net/resource_files/audio/20070204TheRoleofWomen.mp3">Role of Women</a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Matt Chandler is wordy sometimes,</div><div style="text-align: center;">but so easy to listen to.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've recently thought a lot about what</div><div style="text-align: center;">"weaker vessel" as a woman means.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I really enjoyed this message.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/resource_files/audio/20070811BA01S_MattChandler_TheRoleOfMenPt1-DefiningMasculinity.mp3">Role of Men</a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's almost, sometimes, more helpful for me</div><div style="text-align: center;">to listen to a message about the role of men.</div><div style="text-align: center;">So I know what my role is NOT.</div><div style="text-align: center;">As well as what I am supporting/helping/encouraging</div><div style="text-align: center;">in the men in my life.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/luke/jesus-forgives-a-sinful-woman">Jesus Forgives a Sinful Woman</a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Either love him or hate him,</div><div style="text-align: center;">but Mark Driscoll speaks in a way that I "get."</div><div style="text-align: center;">Beautiful message.</div><div style="text-align: center;">And one of my passages of scripture.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.enjoyinggrace.org/index.php?fuseAction=lists.mp3&fileID=635&print=1">The Joy of Faithful Friends</a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Don Shorey is one of my all-time favorite preachers and teachers.</div><div style="text-align: center;">And this message very much convicted me.</div><div style="text-align: center;">And very much encouraged me.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Praying to be a truly faithful friend!</div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-56033417793602514742011-02-25T10:14:00.000-08:002011-02-25T10:18:24.989-08:00post 20<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">WORDS OF FAITH from PEOPLE OF FAITH</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Faith is </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">not an instinct. </span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It certainly is </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">not a feeling</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">– feelings don’t help much when you’re in the lions’ den </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">or hanging on a wooden cross. </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Faith is </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">not inferred</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> from the happy way things work. </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Faith</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> is an act of will</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">, </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">is a choice</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">, </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">is based on the unbreakable Word</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> of a God </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><u>who cannot lie.</u></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">[elisabeth elliot]</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Faith does </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">not operate in the realm of the 'possible'</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">. </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">There is no glory for God in that which is humanly possible. </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Faith </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">begins where man's power ends.</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Faith has nothing to do with feelings</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> or </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">impressions,</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> or </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">improbabilities,</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> or outward </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">experiences. </span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">If we desire to couple such things with faith, </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">then we are no longer resting on the Word of God.</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Faith </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">rests on the naked Word of God</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">. </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">When we </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">take Him at His Word</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">, </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">the heart is at peace.</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">[george muller]</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Faith </span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">never knows where it is being led</span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">, </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">but </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">it loves and knows the One who is leading</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">.</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">[oswald chambers]</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Sight is not</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> faith, </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">and </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">hearing is not</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> faith,</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> neither is feeling</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> faith; </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">but believing when we neither see, hear, nor feel is faith.</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> Therefore we must believe truth before we feel to truly be 'in faith'.</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">[hannah whitall smith]</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Faith </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">is a living,</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> daring confidence </span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">in God's grace, </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">so</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> sure and </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">so</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> certain </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">that a man could stake his life on it a thousand times.</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">[martin luther]</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>By faith </i>Abraham</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">went when he was called</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">to go to place.</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And he went,</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">not knowing where he was going.</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>By faith</i>, Noah...</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">concerning events unseen,</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">constructed an ark.</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">By this he condemned the world,</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">became an heir of the righteousness</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">that comes by faith.</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">[hebrews 11]</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> For <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">we are powerless</span> against this...</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">We <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">do not know what to do</span>, </span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">but <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><b>our eyes are on you</b></span>...<o:p></o:p></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">Believe in your God</span>, </span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">and you will be established; </span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">believe His words</span>, and you will succeed.</span><o:p></o:p></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">[2 chronicles 20]</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: serif;"><b><br />
</b></span></div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-49351208878725575762011-02-22T23:28:00.000-08:002011-02-25T10:16:40.575-08:00post 19<div style="text-align: center;">"Rest in the Lord, </div><div style="text-align: center;">and wait patiently for Him"</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">psalm 37:7</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"> In <b>all</b> circumstances </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;">of faith's trial, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">of prayer's delay, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;">of hope deferred, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;"><u>of hearts' testing,</u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;">the most proper and graceful posture of the soul </div><div style="text-align: center;"> - that which insures the largest revenue of blessing to us and of glory to God -</div><div style="text-align: center;"> is a patient waiting on the Lord. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>The moral discipline of patience is most costly. </b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It keeps the soul humble,</div><div style="text-align: center;"> believing, </div><div style="text-align: center;">prayerful. </div><div style="text-align: center;">The mercy in which it results is</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #999999;"> all the more prized and precious </span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;">from the long season of hopeful expectation.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">God's time, though it tarry, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">when it comes</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> proves </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">always</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> to have been </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">the best.</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"> "My soul, wait only upon God, </div><div style="text-align: center;">for my expectation is from him." </div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782937959836611527.post-75302501168276035662011-01-26T18:22:00.000-08:002011-01-26T18:24:51.827-08:00post 18<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6b6b6b; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"></span><br />
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666;">I found this to be a very, very well-worded and inspiring poem.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666;">(And for me to stay focused reading that "long" a poem... is saying something.)</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you can keep your head when all about you</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But make allowance for their doubting too,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Or being hated, don't give way to hating,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And treat those two impostors just the same;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you can make one heap of all your winnings</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And lose, and start again at your beginnings</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And never breath a word about your loss;</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">To serve your turn long after they are gone,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And so hold on when there is nothing in you</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Or walk with kings-nor lose the common touch,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If all men count with you, but none too much,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you can fill the unforgiving minute</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And -which is more- you'll be a Man, my son!</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">-Rudyard Kipling</span></em></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</em></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;">Or woman :D</div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;">(thank you <a href="http://www.joshharris.com/">Josh Harris</a>)</div>I'm Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11128432838418693239noreply@blogger.com3